The Church of Facebook

I love social media. The intrinsic power it has is awe-inspiring; not only can you share interesting and relevant information and articles easily and swiftly, but you also relate your own personal slant while you’re at it. You can quiz your friends about movies, restaurants and food or pick their brains about sports or recent media or political occurrences.

Or you can share memes.

Millions and millions of memes.

Now before we write off the humble meme as a mere token of Facebook frippery, an embellishment to our page designed to make us appear humorous, enlightened or informed, it must be noted that some are actually rather good. I have frequently encountered memes that are both well presented and intelligently written. I have also encountered others that have been complete and utter shit.

Now Facebook is a fabulous place but if you believe everything you read on it you’re going to have a hard, and probably depressing, time. Many memes I have read are biased, judgemental, stereotypical and/or just plain stupid. And in the interests of being a helpful citizen...let me warn you of a few.

(I will refrain here, despite the title of my blog today, from commenting on religious memes as everyone is entitled to their own opinions of what they think God’s supernatural powers are, and if I get started on all the hate fueled anti-Islamic propaganda about, well shit’s just gonna get real....I created this space for people to escape controversy and that includes me, so I’m gonna stick to the non-religious stuff.)

The first meme that springs to mind is a gender one. I don’t consider myself so much a feminist as more of an advocate for gender equality. The meme goes like this:

 “Yes, I'm a woman. I push doors that clearly say pull. I laugh harder when I try to explain why I'm laughing. I walk into a room and forget why I was there. I count on my fingers in math. I ask for food and then don't eat it when I get it. I fall in love too fast with someone who doesn't actually love me back. I hide the pain from my loved ones. I say it is a long story when it's really not. I cry a lot, more than you think I do. I care about people who don't care about me. I try to do things before the microwave beeps. I listen to you even though you don't listen to me. And a hug will always help. Yes! I am a woman! And I am proud of who I am.”

I wish the person who wrote this a lifetime of squeaky chairs and naval lint.

“I push doors that clearly say pull” I have seen my father do this, along with many other penised members of the community. Next

“I laugh harder when I try to explain why I'm laughing.” Soooo gender specific...not. Next

“I count on my fingers in math.” The only time I use my fingers to count is when I am showing someone how to count to one....while demonstrating how much I don’t like them.

“I ask for food and then don't eat it when I get it” Where the hell did this one come from?? I paid/asked for it, you can bet your damn patootie I’ma gonna eat it! Don’t eat it....don’t ea...who is this clown?

“I fall in love too fast with someone who doesn't actually love me back” Again, about as gender specific as your average (adult) electric toothbrush.

“I hide the pain from my loved ones”: Ummm, so how often have you heard a person saying their male partner/relative needs to ‘open up’ or ‘talk to somebody’ about something he is dealing with? If we were going to lean gender biased on this point, wouldn't you think it would be the other way?? So how about we simply smile and move on before people actually do and miss the point of my rant entirely.

“I say it is a long story when it's really not.” This is simply a ploy utilized so one doesn't have to waste time talking about something that either one doesn't want to talk about or that one feels the other won’t fully understand or relate to. It is basically an idiot shield. Idiots come in both genders....and so do people who utilize this phrase.

“I cry a lot, more than you think I do” Any crying disparity can largely be explained by hormones though if you are crying a lot, you should get checked for depression....like actually. While there may be some small substance to this particular stereotype it is hardly a feature that would make me rave about being a woman. Just saying.

“I care about people who don't care about me” Your choice...doesn’t require tits and a vagina to choose it. Talk to any man who has been rejected or cuckolded but who is still in love with the subject of his affections. I am sure he will relate to the above.

“I try to do things before the microwave beeps.”I looked on YouTube. I found: “10 Things to do before the microwave hits zero”…guess the gender of the star. Next.

“I listen to you even though you don't listen to me” Oh c’mon! This is the story of some guys’ lives! Don't even go there people.

“And a hug will always help” A hug helps everyone. Why do you think men have been so drawn to team sports over the years? For one reason they are allowed to touch and be affectionate without being thought effeminate. Delightfully, this is now changing in everyday life. Everyone needs hugs, men included, don’t be a bitch.

“Yes! I am a woman! And I am proud of who I am.” That’s nice dear *pat pat*. Now how about just trying not to be an idiot and being proud of that.

While I do understand the need for a certain feminine rebellion (we still do not have equal pay and working conditions in some professions and gender bias is still rife in media/advertising representation), this is hardly the way to go about it. This sort of crap just reinforces unfounded stereotypes, both male and female (for by suggesting these are women only traits we are overtly excluding men from being allowed to identify with them) and really needs to just staahhhpp!

Number Two (before I blow a gasket)

“The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.”

What a complete crock of shit that one is. What this one should read is “Don’t put all your happy shit all over Facebook because my relationship is shit/in a precarious place, my partner would never do that for me and I secretly wish he/she would sometimes, or I don’t have a partner and I'm jealous.” 

Some people are very private and keep their stuff themselves.....their prerogative and I totally respect it, but I have waited a long time to be in such a fantastic relationship and you can bet your ass I'm gonna share the joy. I don’t do it to piss anyone off or to shove it up all the single people, I do it for the following three reasons:

1) We see enough miserable/boring shit on Facebook: someone hates his/her job, someone hates someone else, someone had lunch, someone had a shit holiday experience, someone got divorced, whatever...We want to show people that sometimes stuff goes right, that happiness is still a possibility, that love is a real thing and if treated with respect, can last (hence why the Kevman and I still post fluffy shit on Facebook a year later),

 2) We have received a lot of positive feedback about it, people are so glad to see us so happy, it makes them happy. Some of my friends have even private messaged me to that effect based solely on a romantic post. People love feeling happy, even just vicariously. I love being able to facilitate that.

3) We love publicly praising our significant other. While much of our posting may make others happy, the things we post are primarily for each other...that is, they represent our feelings toward the other and we are more than happy to broadcast to the world that we think and feel these things. We enjoy showing the other that we would put our reputation on the line for them and are proud to be in a relationship with them. We both enjoy verbal affirmations, it’s as simple as that.

So far as I'm concerned, as long as both parties enjoy and interpret these public displays of affection as love then there is no reason not to share your happy relationship on any medium you damn well please.

The third and final meme I’d like to question goes something like this: “When you don’t have to worry about what you say, you know you’re with the right people”

Let’s just take a moment here. If you consider ‘the right people’ to be people who don’t tolerate your shit, call you out on unfair statements, let you know when they are hurt by something you've said and are not afraid to disagree/debate with you, then yes, I believe you are with the right people.

But if you consider ‘the right people’ to be friends who just appear to ‘get’ where you’re coming from with your statements, don’t take offense, and back you up wholeheartedly, we could have differing opinions of what ‘right’ means.

My personal belief is that you should always surround yourself (actually or virtually) with a wide variety of people who have varying knowledge bases and broad ranges and lengths of life experience. To only surround yourself with people ‘like you’ creates a perfect fermentation environment for fear, hatred and bigotry. These forces then swell to varying degrees against anyone or anything different.

So if the ‘right people’ are those who challenge, stimulate, appreciate and respect you and your uniqueness, then as you were Sir Meme, go on through. If, however, you’re suggesting that everyone should have a little posse of like-minded minions to unquestioningly support their belief systems, then step aside and let the real memes through.

Ultimately, the point of all this, is to show that you must always question what you see, read and hear. Just because someone is tech savvy enough to write a group of words into a 
computer program, does not mean they are smart enough to read the tacit, or even obvious insinuations contained within them. While piss-poor grammar and spelling are often a sign of questionable meme thinking, I have seen perfectly written crap also circulate the Facebook world at a swift rate of knots. All I ask is that you please try and trip it up where you can. Thanks.

Well that is enough of my opinions on the world....go forth and have a jolly spiffy weekend!!