So glad you've come...

Welcome to Tigressland, my own personal little corner of the Internet where I hang out expressing my views about the smaller things in life. No controversy here (I'm saving that for the book lol) just the everyday minutiae that add up to my rather unpredictable, but always fun, life! So pull up a cushion and come chill.....and follow! We bloggers love it when you follow ;-) ~Tigress

Thursday 28 May 2015

Charity begins...with books :)

Now as I have possibly mentioned once or twice before, I have a somewhat addictive personality. Especially when it comes to books and /or sorting things.

I think I may have an issue here

You see, in my infinite wisdom, I decided to begin doing some volunteer work at one of the local second-hand stores. And I just happened to randomly select the one with nearly floor to ceiling bookshelves...randomly....ok it was the only one I went in but that is completely beside the point.

There were shelves of them softly whispering my name.

And they were saying: “Tidy me, sort me...love me”

How could I not offer my time after pleas like that?

So I signed up and got busy. And so far, it’s just like a Maccas commercial: I’m loving it! It hasn’t been all about the books though; not my choice initially, but I have since discovered that my organizational bent can be aimed in just about any direction to great enjoyment.

If my body would allow...I’d probably be there every day.

I'm even learning about clothes. After an initial conversation with our visual merchandiser for Western Australia, I was questioned on my knowledge of fashion clothing and top labels and such. Considering I have about as must grace and sophistication as your average bogan (if you’re not from Australasia...Google the term, it will provide hours of entertainment), I could not wax informative on that subject. I have enough trouble differentiating chain store brands let alone discussing the finer points of catwalk haute couture.

“Don’t worry, there’s a list” she said smiling comfortingly. Oh thank God for that. But I can’t say that I've ended up playing with the clothes much (or that I'm especially heartbroken about this). I've been a tad busy elsewhere reorganising the children’s section, lining the cups up in sets (you have no idea how satisfying that is), organising the linen and craftwares, and generally tidying and reorganizing to create more space.

Now the interesting thing that happens when you create more space is that you can fit more stuff in the shop without the store looking messy or overcrowded; which in turn translates to the customers having more choice; which in turn translates to higher sales figures.

Our store sold over $1000 the Saturday before last. This is the first time our store has done this.

I’m just casually putting that out there.

But that doesn't mean the other volunteers aren't doing a wonderful job as well...it’s just that you need enough of us to be able to make the real magic happen. A mad organiser can’t focus on getting the shop all ship shape and Bristol fashion if he/she has to stop every five minutes to serve a customer or sort an incoming donation. It’s a team thing; the bigger the team, the more you can get done. Especially if you play to the strengths of each team member. But, I have t say, there is also a ‘logic’ factor in it as well.

For me, for example, it was completely illogical to sell videos when we sell about one every six months but had shitloads of the damn things around the store. The way I saw it, in the same space we had a $1 video we could have had a $3-4 book or two $3 DVDs. It kinda did my head in. So now the videos are being sold off 3 for $1 (as are cassette tapes) and even now they are not exactly flying out the door, but removing them to the sale table has made room for all the DVDs that were hiding out the back. And they do sell so a much wiser use of space I believe. It’s tweaks like that, that can buy you a whole heaps of space to work wonders in. It and has been wonderful to reawaken my floor supervisor experience and put it to good use here.

But back to these books...

Once upon a time, Opportunity Shops (Op Shops), second-hand stores, thrift shops, whatever you wanted to call them...used be predominantly filled with crap: stained/damaged clothing, ancient crockery, grubby toys and tired old dog eared books.

Not so in today’s world. My store for example sells no stained/pilled/damaged clothing (this goes overseas to those in need or for rags/shredding [for furniture stuffing]), no stained/damaged crockery or linen and no books with yellowed pages or significant signs or wear.

Which means all the books (not on the sale table) are in good nick.

And relatively recent

And the type I would read.

Oooooh, lordy.

The fact that I haven’t bought damn near all of them is testimony not only to my strong will...but also to my strong sense of self preservation and desire for pre-matrimonial harmony. The Kevman loves books too, just not on every wall of the house.

But every Tuesday and Friday I get to pat them and arrange them and read their blurbs. And sometimes I get to recommend them to potential book Mummies and Daddies and send them off to loving homes.

It’s a very satisfying part of the job. But even I have to admit, it’s not the most important.

What really matters is that I get to work for a wonderful cause that generates income for those in need. Now that is the best feeling of all.

Sometimes the best jobs you don’t get paid for in money

Have a great one!


~Tigress

P.S. Got some spare time? Why not volunteer! Help at a local second hand charity store or animal rescue organisation; help with kids' sport or youth/teen projects; visit elderly people; knit/crochet for Syrian refugee children; sew burial gowns from old wedding dresses for Angel Babies....the list is endless, get on the Internet and start looking!

Thursday 21 May 2015

A Wedding in Tigressland


I had just finished volunteering
At the Save the Children Shop
I’d had a busy day
And I felt like I could drop

So I drove home to my beloved
Who is off on R & R
Singing along to whatever the hell
Was playing in the car

I was greeted at the door
With a goofy grin and wine
He’d cooked us up some dinner
And I couldn’t wait for mine

Now the Kevman has always dazzled me
With his affection and his charm
So I didn’t find it unusual
When he gently took my arm.

He hugged me and he held me
Cuddled up and smiled
He has the type of cheeky grin
That always drives me wild

He looked at me like I amazed him
(Which I like to think I do)
But it’s nice to have it re-enforced
By a loving glance or two

Then he reached into his pocket
His hand emerged with a small box
The kind that makes your heart go thump
And carries shiny, sparkly rocks.

I looked at him, and he at me
You all know the next part
“Will you marry me?” He said
His voice presenting me his heart.

Now you may be thinking
There wasn’t much ceremony there
But that’s just how we roll
And I really didn’t care

He wanted to surprise me
But I’m a pretty good detective
So this was his best option
It was anything but defective

I looked at the ring and thought
Holy shit that’s a decent size!
He’d definitely gone all out this time
I couldn’t believe my eyes.

But if I was to wear such a thing
It would mean I was getting married
My brain was still calming down
From a day all rushed and harried.

I looked back at him and realized though
There was nowhere else I’d rather be
Than in his arms for the rest of everything
So I said “Yes” immediately.

It’s been a fun few days since then
Telling family and friends
Messages and Facebook posts
The excitement never ends

But the Gypsy Niece was curious
How did this all go down?
The Kevman filled her in
And she spluttered with a frown

Who the hell proposes
On an average Tuesday night
In Ugg boots and a sweatshirt?
I just feel this just ain’t right.

But then she saw our goopy faces
And seemed to say “Ah f**k it....
You guys have always made me wanna puke
Into a plastic bucket.”

So the next eighteen months or so
Will be a hive-like planning central
By the end of the whole shebang
I’ll probably be driven mental

And along the way there’ll be a hen’s night
A buck’s do and perhaps a bridal shower
Those that make you scared
Of what’s going to happen hour by hour

But it should be fun I'm guessing
All this hilarity and mirth
As I lead up to marrying
My one love on this Earth

Ahh, I really should be going now
So I must end my little rhyme
I’m off with my fiancĂ©
To spend a little time <3

*Mwah*


~Tigress

Thursday 14 May 2015

Like fine red wine.

It has been suggested that the Kevman and I possess rather a lot of red wine.

And in relation to many...I guess that's not far wrong.

But while we did have (what we would call) decent amount of red a while back (200+ bottles), this has slowly dwindled to a more sedate 100 or so over the recent year. This reduction has occurred partly because households are more expensive once girlfriends are installed in them (thus less funding available for wine purchasing) and partly because we needed some of our linen cupboard and wardrobes back.

You see, when I turned up, space was at a bit of a premium.

Now I'm not meaning to insinuate here that all West Australians are pissheads... 

But let me put it this way: A fair percentage of ‘em know their way around the local bottle store far better than most sections of the local supermarket....and they're not remotely afraid to demonstrate the fact.

Aussies (and many Kiwis for that matter) like their liquid refereshments...and with the FIFO lifestyle being so prevalent in W.A. many have the finances to back up the habit....including the Kevman who's had the funds for quite a while to fund whatever pastimes he so desired. And as far as I could tell upon entering his home, he had.

Upon crossing his threshold for the first time, I was presented with a well stocked bar that would make any party animal grin with glee. Bourbon, rum, Kahlua, gin, vodka and various cocktail components glinted from behind glass, advertising that any sort of alcoholic desire could be catered for

Well that looked fun...but where was the wine.

I raised a quizzical eyebrow at the Kevman: “This all very lovely darling, but where’s good stuff?”

On the night we met, the Kevman and I had discussed our mutual love of good red wine and I will not lie, one of his initial charm points was his apparent ability to tell his Cab Sav from his Shiraz and not be phased by what he might encounter in a better than average restaurant. He had mentioned a somewhat impressive wine collection, and at the risk of sounding like a closet alcoholic myself....I wanted to ascertain its location.

Just, y’know, coz I was curious like.

“Oh that’s in the linen cupboard”

Of course, where else would it be...

“There’s some in the office too; and the spare room (this actually turned out to be bourbon); and those boxes by the bar...now I think about it, they’re wine too.”

Upon perusal...I estimated approximately 160 bottles of grown-up grape juice.

I was speechless for a moment: “You sure got enough?”

“Pretty sure we’re covered.”

I wandered around, furrow-browed, opening things and generally being nosey: “You have three fridges...only one of which has food in it.”

“And your point is?" He laughed: "Actually there are four: The full-sized kitchen one (food + freezer), the full-sized outside one (beer, white wine, RTDs and soft drink + freezer), the full-sized bar fridge (similar to outside fridge + freezer)...and the smaller wine fridge.”

“I'm sorry, the what?!”

“It’s under bench.”

Make that 180

Behind the kitchen bench was a smallish wine fridge where normal people would have a dishwasher.

Apparently that’s what the gypsy niece was for.

“And there’re some really nice ports and muscats floating around here too...think they’re in with the wine though.”

I didn't know whether to be impressed or horrified and after helping to contribute to the wine total quite significantly on our first trip away – bumping the total well over 200 bottles - I demonstrated that I was not averse to embracing this drinking culture.

My body, however, is not really having a bar of it (Ha! see what I did there! 'Bar'? haha...geddit? Oh nevermind.)

I drink too much alcohol, I can’t stay sleep

I drink too much alcohol and my digestive system starts to pack a sad.

I drink too much alcohol and I can become jittery and fretful as the week progresses.

I drink almost any alcohol, my face turn bright red

I drink over four drinks a week and I raise my risk of breast cancer re-occurrence proportionately.

Well who's a pain in the arse then

But I have learned to listen to my body or else it starts to speak with a megaphone. Things are little more balanced around here these days; we still have a decent selection of reds that we have taken great pleasure in selecting ourselves from various West Australian wineries; there’s always good bourbon around, and winter will still be port season.

But now we also delight in other pleasures such as good food, good books, good company and the wonderful games that have sat dormant in cupboards for so many years.

Maybe we’re just getting old and responsible these days.

Or maybe we’re just maturing

Like fine red wine ;-)

Have a great week everyone!

~Tigress

P.S. Alcohol, can be a wonderful accompaniment to life, but should never consume it. If your habit is giving you, or those around you grief...check out these resources and learn what’s up.







Friday 8 May 2015

Fast cars and even faster pussy.....cats.

Let me share with you my week. 

Actually I'll share two of them, just for good measure.

After some person, who shall remain nameless (coz I actually have no idea who he/she was), bumped his/her piddly arsed little vehicle into the right rear of the Holden a few weeks back....our car was finally able to get repaired this week (busy chappies apparently). But as I had several appointments to keep this fortnight, my beloved organized a rental vehicle for me.

Enlisting the help of the Gypsy Niece and her beloved silver Hyundai, we tootled off to Fremantle to pick up said rental, and then proceed to have lunch at one of the fine local eateries. And all was going well until I was escorted to the yard....and much to Gypsy Niece’s delight and amusement, handed the keys to a shiny, white..

You guessed it:

Hyundai.

A Hyundai ‘Accent’ to be precise.

Now let’s just take a moment here.

After being accustomed to negotiating greater Perth in a Holden SV6 I was now being treated to a swift reminder as to why I enjoy negotiating greater Perth in a Holden SV6....as opposed to a Matchbox toy with ideas above its station. Transferring to the Hyundai was akin to going from a Sherman tank to geriatric Jeep. Yes, I know the little roller skate is all economical and whatnot but it also has about as much testicular fortitude as a half-roasted peanut. And that. I feel, is being a little harsh on the peanut.

Needless to say my Hyundai tales have been a point of humour all week...mostly not mine.

It wouldn't be so bad if some other people didn't drive like pillocks. I am not sure what it is about indicators, but people often seem to think they are optional....especially when taking the second exit on a roundabout. No you are not ‘just going straight ahead’ you are entering a roundabout and should indicate wherever and whenever you leave the damn thing, regardless of which exit you take. It’s not rocket science...seriously.

But to add to the fun and games, I had to take the kittens to the vet for their follow up appointment and as they had already found it necessary to completely circumvent their cones and each pull a stitch out....the vet was less than impressed. Long story short...accompanied by the fact that they couldn't sit still if their furry little lives depended on it, they now have fat little tummies that need monitoring each week until the swelling goes completely down.

Most humans following abdominal surgery like to kick back and relax; but not these two clowns....not only have Merlot and Shiraz found it hugely entertaining to gallop around like demented school children, they have also developed an insatiable desire to climb on a person as soon as one bends over....requiring the need to either hunchback of Notre Dame yourself to the nearest chair in the hope they'll dismount, or stand up and thus have them perch on your shoulder like a fluffy, whiskered parrot.

Despite their avian tendencies however, they are still managing to recover well. And surprising enough, they love the flavour of their anti, inflammatory medication.

Little druggies.

Another foray I took in my petitemoblile was to the ‘boob place’. Now in all fairness they scan any part of your body you so desire, but as I desire to keep my boobs, I had them scan those. Now as my last titty cancer was in an awkward spot (I am nothing if not the queen of awkward) it was only picked up on ultrasound (well, actually, it was picked up by me...then an ultrasound). So not only were my ample mammaries squished within an inch of their life, they were also gelled up and checked for 'things what don’t belong' that way as well.

I can think of worse ways to spend an hour, I guess (thankful for modern technology and stuff). And of course, because the left one has received most of the attention over the last five years...the right has decided it wants to feel special. “It is most probably absolutely nothing, but we would love your previous films from New Zealand...just for comparison.” Which simply involves me sending a letter to my Mama, giving her authority to uplift said films from my previous hospital in NZ (What’s the betting that after she reads this, I get a Viber message, saying something to the effect of: “Why the hell haven’t you sent me the bloody letter.” Quite delicately spoken is my Mum.)

I’ll do it after this Mum...I promise.

Now to its credit, despite all this gallivanting around (which also included trips to the supermarket, and a local second-hand shop where I volunteer) the little snot-beetle has yet to drop under half a tank. And it is definitely easy to park.

But it doesn’t really like moving in a hurry. You put your foot down and it has to think about what needs to happen next. It’s sort of like you’re speaking a foreign language to it through a translator. 

“Oh ‘accelerate’ means move faster?? Oooooh, ok, ok, I do that now.”

“Thanks, thanks for coming to the party on that one. A little earlier would have been nice, but hey”

And as for anything involving a slope...

"What? You want me to go just as fast....UPHILL?!"

"Yes, yes I do."

"But it's hard work!"

"You'll be fine"

"I dunno, I think I feel my carburettor starting to give."

"If you don't don't shift your whiny arse up this hill, I swear to God, I'll have your spark plugs for earrings!

"Oh right you are then"

And off we go.

I know, I know, I should just be grateful to have something with motorized wheels, but I can’t say I'll be emotional when it goes back.


I might be all emotional at the kittens in a minute though.....


You wait till your father gets home!